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Crash story with no helmet: bad outcome

Summary: Here is a depressing story of a bad bicycle crash without a helmet and the life-long consequences

Fight The Storm ...........@gmail.com

Subject: Thirteen Years Ago...

Where to begin.. I guess I could begin by saying that I chose not to wear a helmet. In choosing not to wear that helmet, well of course every day before this specific day it didn't seem so important. See I grew up in a very small town, where your backyard was fenced, and my "backyard" was the whole town. Where kids watched out for the other kids, and the parents.. well the parents weren't really interested in watching us like parents do these days.

Just one time, took probably one second, of not wearing a helmet.. I fell 6 feet off of a ramp, riding my BMX bicycle at the skateboard park. Lots of other kids around.. I can't tell you much about the accident. I really don't remember it. However I can tell you everything I do remember, and how it has affected my life, even though I didn't know until just a few months ago how serious that accident impacted my health and my life. I am still in search of answers and can't seem to find them with any support. I am completely alone doing insane amounts of research, trying to put all the pieces together.

This accident, well, I wonder, every day since I started putting the pieces together, would my life have been different? Would I be different? I guess we may never know, but I believe it would have been.

That day, I remember the ramp was curved on one side, the other side was slanted. I had rode up the slanted side, the ramp being 4 feet tall, while adding about 2 feet to my bike, makes my fall around 6 feet, I presume. I was about to ride down the curved ramp, I recall someone saying my name, and I was turning my head around to look at them. Then nothing.

I then remember trying to get up off the ground, whining, in pain, blood dripping from my face. I fell face first right into the cement, as the curved ramp was split in two, I fell right between the ramps.

I remember hearing two of the boys at the skate park, I won't add their names incase they don't want to be known.. They were arguing, not awfully. One had said to the other, who was the only one with a vehicle, that he should drive me to my Father, and he had replied that he didn't want to get involved. I presume he didn't want to get in trouble, he did end up driving me.

We could not locate my Father as it was an emergency. Again my hometown was quite small. So we did not have a hospital, we had to drive about 20 minutes to see a doctor. They decided to drive me to a friends mom, from there she rushed me to the hospital in the nearest town.

I don't recall any of that, just the blood dripping from my face and the boys discussing helping me or not. My next memory was being in the van crying and repeatedly saying "I want my dad" and the lady saying "I'm calling him, I'm trying to get ahold of him." while rushing down the highway.

My next memory was watching my Father run down the hallway of the hospital towards me.

I have no other memories of that day, I can't even remember what I do remember after that. I know that the hospital did nothing but X-Ray my face, which does not show the brain.. I don't understand why they wouldn't check or at least do check ups on a 12 year old child who had fallen so far in such an awful way, with awful wounds..

I do know my Father made sure I put aloe vera gel on my face as much as possible. He said, "Can't ruin that beautiful face." I thank him for that. I remember going back to school, with every single blood vessel broken in my eyes, and every single student scared to even look at me. Facial injuries I do not have any recollection of my own personality, friends, love from others, or any kind of anything before this accident happened

Recently speaking with my Mother, I asked her to take a moment, as no one in my life ever said anything or did anything about that accident after I healed.. or so we thought I healed. I asked "Before that accident, how was I? Did I have the tantrums I had as a child? Or did they start after the accident?" She replied, "You were an angel, the perfect little girl." She said that she never really thought about it, and now that she is she said all the anger and tantrums and her not being able to handle me, chewing my nails, always angry, biting myself, hitting myself, crying all the time, screaming and yelling, and treating everyone so awfully. She said it all started afterwards.

I had asked her why no one ever loved or cared about me enough to take me to a doctor? Why throw me away? Why ignore, and neglect me?

See I only remember the pain, the hurt.. Everything and anything awful people do to me. I'm unsure why, but I have a hard time remembering the good. So I tend to get VERY VERY upset ALL the time. And I have two, beautiful, perfect children. Whom I called Social Services on myself because I started neglecting them very badly.

I have spent my ENTIRE life, thinking I was a burden on everyone, and every place that I have ever been to. I wasn't wrong. I was, well maybe not a burden, but I wasn't easy to deal with. I understand why everyone walked away, I don't understand how they could have ever even thought of doing it the way some of them did, I merely just wanted the truth, to my face then a civil walk away, while I cry my eyes out.. But nope, it has never been that way.

It's funny how something that can impact your life so much that it changes who you are and not one person remembers, nor can explain, how, why or what happened to you.

This is the most confusing and hardest time of my life, trying to find answers for something that everyone else seems to forget even happened. I can't tell you much more about it, except that I truly believe a big part of me died that day, and no one cared, noticed or paid enough attention to me to help me.

Today I am struggling with full body tremors, insane memory issues, fighting for my life and begging every health professional I reach out to, just to help and properly examine me. While being ignored, sent out the door with more questions, none of mine answered, and being relieved as their patient due to the exact symptoms I am in need of help with. It's crazy how a simple thing like wearing your helmet is so much more important than anyone in the world could fathom. I have attached a picture of my face after I had fallen. And if you'd like more proof of my current symptoms and what it did to my body, please reach out. Thanks for taking the time and reading my no helmet, bicycle accident.

Sincerely: (name and email address withheld by request)